Stream it on HBO Max
Rent it on Amazon, Google Play, Apple TV, and YouTube
“There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who recognize
Die Hard as a Christmas movie, and those we pray for.”
-Doug Walker
Our next film is a blast
In more ways the one,
The greatest action film ever made
Featuring presents and a machine gun.
The story of Die Hard is simple
If you ask any bloke,
One man against a small army
With enough firepower to make you choke.
Our hero is John McClane
A cop from New York,
Visiting LA to see his wife
Who just popped a Champagne cork.
Her company is celebrating
On this Christmas Eve,
In the heart of Nakatomi Plaza
Where some might aggrieve.
For their marriage is on the ropes
But their love is still strong,
So maybe with some hope
They will sing a better song.
But that will have to wait
As terrorists threaten his life,
They have taken the building with hostages,
Including his wife.
With no shoes and a pistol
John must find a way,
To call for help with this threat
And maybe save the day.
This film is a classic
In all the best ways,
The kind of gem that makes you say
I miss the good old days.
When action heroes were relatable
vulnerable and human,
Not like the bad schlock of today
that makes me sick to my rumen.
The action itself is top-notch.
Exciting and never dull,
There’s fights, chases & explosions
Enough to rack your skull.
The writing, of course
Is where this film shines the most,
Witty dialogue and textured characters
All well deserving of boast.
But don’t be fooled by its cover
For it carries an important theme,
That hope can survive anything
No matter how extreme.
A perfect Holiday message
That ever I’ve seen,
An important one for all of us
Both commoner and Queen.
So when you’re feeling festive
And you need a good watch,
Die Hard is a perfect match
Like cream and butterscotch.
And with that, we move on
Like a happy, busy trucker,
And don’t forget the films best line
“Yippie Ki Yay, Mother Fu%#er!”
Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading.
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