Safe House (2025) - FUBAR

 

Rent on Apple TV and Plex

    One of the more challenging things to do these days is giving a movie the benefit of the doubt. Back in the days of video rental stores, you could discuss your possible choice of flick with a clerk who likely watched it and could give you their assessment of the film, thereby better informing your decision on whether to rent it. However, in the age of digital rentals and streaming services, that option cannot be replicated. Not to mention all of the other benefits of going to the video rental store, but that's a discussion for another time. 

    Safe House (2025) sounds like a good bet on paper: an action thriller with a handful of discerning characters, set in a single location. In the right hands, this can be a workable, engaging, and fantastic setup for an excellent film. Instead, it is the cinematic equivalent of ordering a handmade cheeseburger but receiving a week-old Big Mac. 

    The story follows a group of agents from various federal and military agencies who find themselves in lockdown during a terrorist attack. They make their way to a designated safe location with instructions to remain in hiding and await further orders. Which might be easier said than done, as they are regularly attacked by armed forces hell bent on taking their lives. Not only that, but one of the unlucky people inside the Safe House seems to be hiding something that the bad guys want. How long can they stand their ground before something gives way? 

    As I said, this could work as an engaging thriller with interesting character development, sprinkled with the occasional action scene to vary the pacing. Storytellers with enough talent and willpower can make something memorable out of what little budget or resources they have. Unfortunately, no one involved in this project appears to have any of the skills or talents necessary to deliver a promising product. 

    The action scenes are repetitive with little in the way of variety or creativity; the performances are one-note and lack any kind of interesting texture (not helped by the lack of texture in the characters themselves); the direction is bland with no sense of style or personal voice outside of a poor emulation of better directors (like Joe Carnahan); and the writing is depressingly ameture with stock tough-guy dialouge, one-dimentional characters, an overarching theme that sounds good on paper but ultimatly isn't worth investing, and one of the laziest attempts at sequal bating I have ever seen!

    This movie feels like it was either made because someone lost a bet or the studio was looking for a quick tax write-off. It offers nothing substantial and only emphasizes its wasted potential with every subsequent, repetitive explosion that permeates the film every ten minutes. 

    If you must watch a movie titled Safe House, track down and watch the 1998 Patrick Stewart film. It's a vastly superior movie with an engaging story and memorable performances, well worth the rental price on Amazon. Highly recommended! 

    Avoid the 2025 Safe House at all costs! 

Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading.