Friday, December 4, 2020

Holiday Rhymes - Die Hard (1988)

 


Stream it on HBO Max 
Rent it on Amazon, Google Play, Apple TV, and YouTube 

“There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who recognize 
Die Hard as a Christmas movie, and those we pray for.” 
                                                     -Doug Walker

Our next film is a blast 
In more ways the one, 
The greatest action film ever made 
Featuring presents and a machine gun. 

The story of Die Hard is simple 
If you ask any bloke, 
One man against a small army 
With enough firepower to make you choke. 

Our hero is John McClane 
A cop from New York,
Visiting LA to see his wife 
Who just popped a Champagne cork. 

Her company is celebrating 
On this Christmas Eve, 
In the heart of Nakatomi Plaza  
Where some might aggrieve. 

For their marriage is on the ropes 
But their love is still strong, 
So maybe with some hope
They will sing a better song. 

But that will have to wait 
As terrorists threaten his life, 
They have taken the building with hostages, 
Including his wife. 

With no shoes and a pistol 
John must find a way, 
To call for help with this threat 
And maybe save the day. 

This film is a classic 
In all the best ways, 
The kind of gem that makes you say 
I miss the good old days. 

When action heroes were relatable
vulnerable and human, 
Not like the bad schlock of today 
that makes me sick to my rumen. 

The action itself is top-notch. 
Exciting and never dull, 
There’s fights, chases & explosions 
Enough to rack your skull. 

The writing, of course 
Is where this film shines the most, 
Witty dialogue and textured characters 
All well deserving of boast. 

But don’t be fooled by its cover 
For it carries an important theme, 
That hope can survive anything 
No matter how extreme. 

A perfect Holiday message 
That ever I’ve seen, 
An important one for all of us
Both commoner and Queen. 

So when you’re feeling festive 
And you need a good watch, 
Die Hard is a perfect match 
Like cream and butterscotch. 

And with that, we move on
Like a happy, busy trucker, 
And don’t forget the films best line 
“Yippie Ki Yay, Mother Fu%#er!” 

Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading. 

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