Tuesday, July 2, 2024

Birthday Special - Warriors of the Wasteland (1984)

 


Released in the U.S.A. January 13, 1984 

Streaming on Amazon Prime, Flexfling, and The Criterion Collection 
Rent on Amazon and Apple TV

    Welcome to the third quarter of the year, my wonderful readers! In addition to regular reviews for July, I will discuss movies released on or around some birthdays you submitted. If you still need to submit a birthday, it's still possible. We kick off this special with a movie released close to my birthday, and, oh boy, is this one special (note the sarcasm 🤣.) 

    Warriors of the Wasteland, a.k.a. The New Barbarians, is one of the many pieces of dumb action schlock that served as little more than filler on the video rental store shelves. However, it's also a prime example of the so-bad-it's-good genre, providing entertainment value despite its low production quality. Another trend back in the day was a slew of cheaply produced and quickly made films cashing in on the action craze of the time, utilizing international talent (typically from Italy) and making a small profit from video cassette sales, often after a deliberately short theatrical run (assuming it would get one at all.) 

    This practice led to several cult classic so-bad-it's-entertaining movies, or as my brother-in-law and I refer to them, "incredibad" movies, such as Samurai Cop, In The Aftermath, and pretty much anything in Reb Brown's filmography. In short, these are the kind of movies you would commonly find on shows like Mystery Science Theater 3000; terrible movies that are unintentionally funny in their unbelievable lack of quality in most areas. 

    Anyway, enough talk! Let's get to the movie itself. 

    Set in 2019, after the nuclear fallout dissipated, humanity emerged from the rubble with a new law of the land: survive. This is easier said than done when a massive cult gang known as The Templars roams around the wasteland, hellbent on eliminating the rest of humanity as some kind of redemption. At least, that's what their great leader has led them all to believe. But when they cross paths with a former member of their gang, who now has a new reason to live, things heat up, as the lone fighter takes on the entire Templar gang, with the help of some friends, to give humanity a fighting chance. 

    This movie is terrible in every possible and unintentionally hilarious way! It has all the staples of an international low-budget action film from the 80s: noticeably awful dubbing on top of already robotic dialogue, acting so wooden it could teach a carpentry class, sloppy action scenes that look more like a kid with a camcorder playing with his action figures, and ridiculously questionable costume designs for the entire cast. How ridiculous? Let's just say it's a funny reminder of the popularity of shoulder pads back then, not to mention the unusual hairstyles that would seem overtly theatrical today. 

    Arguably, the funniest thing about this movie is the vehicles. Taking notes from classic post-apocalyptic films such as The Road Warrior and Death Race 2000, many of the vehicles in this movie, though creatively designed, sound like they were powered by a blender hooked up to a Go-Kart motor; a high-pitched hum that makes all of the vehicles sound like toys and therefore not as intimidating as the filmmakers had likely intended. Never mind that they move so slowly that the people they're chasing with them can easily outrun them, yet they always seem to stop running at just the right moment and spot for the villains to deliver the killing blows. It's almost like they know the limits of these would-be death machines but don't care; they just want out of the movie! 🤣

    Despite these massive and unintentionally entertaining flaws, I enjoy some aspects of the film: The production design is charming in its crude, homemade aesthetic. Despite their silly sounds and lack of credible speed, the vehicles look fun to ride. The sets fit the over-the-top style of post-apocalyptic movies, which I enjoy and would love to play with in my own movie someday. Also, special mention must go to one of the most fantastic and criminally underutilized side characters in movie history, Nadir (Fred Williamson), a bow & arrow wielding badass who could potentially give Hawkeye a run for his money. 

    Warriors of the Wasteland is one of the many dime-a-dozen action fillers meant to pass the time while you wait for the real action gems. If you enjoy watching & making fun of bad movies with your friends over some chips and beer, this will fit the bill and then some!

    Enjoy the laughs! 🤣

Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading. 

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