Miss Willoughby and the Haunted Bookshop - Bad Child's Play

 

For rent on Apple TV, Google Play, Amazon, and YouTube 

    When the late director Joel Schumacher made the infamous flop Batman & Robin in 1997, it was reported that he would preface almost every call for action with, "Remember: we're making a cartoon!" While I have no way of confirming this attitude towards the production of today's film, Miss Willoughby and the Haunted Bookshop, it certainly seems like a distinct possibility. Nearly every aspect of this film feels like it's trying too hard to be taken seriously despite its child-like execution. This may have been intended as a severe mystery for adults, but it feels more like an episode of a kid's show, and not the excellent & entertaining kind either. No, I'm talking about the kind of kid's show that talks down to you rather than engages you. 

    The story follows Miss Willoughby (Natalie Cox), a young woman raised by her legal guardian Robert Thompson (Kelsey Grammer), trained in martial arts, literature, and deductive reasoning, establishing herself as a local detective. One day, she discovers a friend of hers, who owns a local bookshop, is experiencing strange encounters with the ghost of her late father and fears herself going mad in the process. It's up to Miss Willoughby to solve the mystery and help her friend before something terrible happens. 

    This is the kind of negative review I dislike having to give. Because while I enjoy small productions like this and find most of them to be better than most Hollywood affairs, it pains me to see these more petite movies executed in such a terrible way. 

    For starters, the performances from most of the cast are amateurish at best and too over-the-top at worse. Save for the ever-reliant Kelsey Grammer, who is always entertaining in just about anything (yes, even Money Plane), most of the cast is hamming up their performances in the worst possible way. I was going to say it's high-school play levels of bad, but I've seen high-school plays with better performances than this. 

    The cinematography is terrible. Photographed by Ross W. Clarkson, the lighting is too bright, too uniform, and lacks any kind of interesting texture in every scene. Resulting in an experience that feels less like a movie and more like a canceled Nickelodeon pilot from the '90s.

    The writing, while not incredibly terrible, feels rushed and unpolished. Also, parts for possible interesting moments feel overlooked or ignored. For example, early in the film, we are shown the main character being trained in martial arts and self-defense. Checkov's Gun dictates that this should build up to a great fight scene later in the film, showcasing her honed skill and contributing to saving the day. Instead, all she does is hit one guy over the head and punch another person in the nose...both within the last ten minutes of the movie. Define "letdown." 

    A few more technical and artistic choices are made in this film that hinder its potential for decent entertainment, but it would take too many paragraphs to sum them all up. Bottom line; this film is a tragic waste of time and a lost opportunity for what might have been a fascinating series. If you find yourself in the mood for a mystery story with a potential supernatural twist, watch The Ninth Gate. At least that movie has Frank Langella hamming it up in the best way possible. 

Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading.