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Watching any of Michael Bay's movies after Pearl Harbor is like ordering french fries at Mcdonald's: you know they're not all that good for you, and they've never changed in taste or quality, but they are an occasional nice treat that reminds you of how awesome you thought they were years ago. In my Top 5 Unpopular Opinions blog entry, I said Michael Bay is a talented director, but his talents are horribly misplaced in narrative filmmaking. Every once in a while, though, he comes across a script that manages to have moments of authentic human storytelling, despite his inability to recognize and utilize it to its full potential. You don't watch a Michael Bay movie for a story; you watch it to see what new toys he gets to play with and inevitably blow up. Which, under most circumstances, would be incredibly dull, but at least you know full well what you're getting into with Michael Bay.
His latest offering, Ambulance (a remake of a 2005 Danish film of the same title), only reaffirms what we've come to expect from the king of cinematic explosions: a movie that's about a half-hour too long with little to no substance outside of crazy camera work, billowing American flags, and a sleek presentation better suited for Victoria Secret commercials. To be fair, this time around, there are a few aspects of the film that deliver some genuinely good moments, but they're not substantial enough to give the movie a passing grade.
I will give Michael Bay some credit for this: no explosions until about an hour and a half into the movie.
The story follows two brothers: Danny (Jake Gyllenhaal) and Will (Yahya Abdul-Mateen II). Will is a former soldier who recently became a father and is now struggling to get his wife a much-needed surgery. Desperate for a solution, he meets up with his brother, Danny, for a loan or maybe a job. Turns out Danny is planning a severe bank robbery and needs a driver. Against his better judgment, Will takes the gig. After a messy run-in with the police, they hijack an ambulance with a wounded police officer and a young paramedic named Cam (Elza González), struggling to keep the bleeding cop alive. Now on the run from the police, they must find a way out of this incredibly unusual predicament.
As you might expect from a Michael Bay film, it is visually incredible but narratively hollow. While there is the basis of an emotionally resonating story, it's too quickly overshadowed by the cool camera tricks and high-octane movement. It feels like there is an excellent story struggling to break free but gets drowned out by shaky cam and sunset-induced lens flares.
To the film's credit, its real strength resides in the main characters' performances. Jake Gyllenhaal provides an energetic performance only he can deliver, further enhanced by his decent chemistry with Yahya Abdul-Mateen II. The MVP award goes straight to Elza González for being the most exciting and least needlessly sexualized female character in a Michael Bay movie. Even though the movie spends too much time ensuring her make-up and hair look perfect at all times (even when it shouldn't call for it), her performance and character provide adequate compensation. From her introduction through the end, she is the highlight of an otherwise by-the-numbers presentation.
Ambulance brings nothing new to the table and leaves no lasting impression outside of what you have already come to expect. It's one of those movies you can turn on merely to provide white noise while doing chores. For a dumb and easy distraction, it's serviceable. If you're looking for something with more substance, check out anything from director Joe Carnahan. At least his movies have a better sense of balance.
Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading.
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