Samaritan - No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

 

Streaming on Amazon Prime

    Back in 2019, Sylvester Stallone injured my fandom toward him with Rambo: Last Blood, a miserable, racist, sexist slog of a film that felt less like a movie and more like a GOP propaganda piece pandering to the kind of anti-immigration crowd that doesn't realize nor care just how much they themselves are descendants of immigrants (but I digress). It was my worst film that year, and I felt the whole movie-going public deserved an apology. While we may never get one, we have been granted yet another punching bag in Stallone's latest line-up of tax-paying projects plopped on the bargain bin of streaming services, Amazon Prime. Samaritan may not be as toxic nor dangerous as Rambo: Last Blood, but it is about as terribly executed and nonsensical. It is a superhero movie for this kind of audience: 

    The story follows a young boy named Sam (Javon 'Wanna' Walton) living in a gritty & gruff rundown neighborhood with his single mother. After a skirmish with some local gang youths, he is saved from a savage beating by his neighbor, an old garbage man named Joe (Sylvester Stallone), who appears to have superhuman levels of strength. This causes Sam to believe he may be the legendary superhero, Samaritan, who was presumed dead almost thirty years ago after a fight with his arch-enemy, Nemesis. They form an unusual friendship as they partake in cliché old guy & young kid interactions (seen in every other movie with this kind of setup but without any kind of nuance). Meanwhile, a local crime boss named Cyrus (Pilou Asbaek) has stolen the helmet and weapon once belonging to Nemesis and uses them to take control of the city. This eventually prompts Joe to take on the old mantle and face his past in the most asinine and predictable way possible. 

    I don't mean to sound like a pseudo-intellectual, but I predicted the "twist" of the film within the first five minutes. Not because I had seen this kind of twist before but because it was so painstakingly obvious that I had almost expected it to be a deliberate misdirect towards something genuinely clever. Spoilers: it wasn't; it was just stupid! 

    The script is unquestionably the weakest aspect of the film. Imagine if David Ayer wrote Logan while watching Wrestle Mania! It feels like a lazy amalgamation of every old-reluctant-hero movie thrown into a blender with excessive amounts of steroids and testosterone. Not even director Julius Avery, best known (okay, only known) for the action/horror masterpiece Overlord, can salvage anything usable from the script. 

    Samaritan is trash in every possible way and not the good kind! It's just bad, plain and simple! It is not unintentionally funny, it is not accidentally clever, and it is not ironically enjoyable. If you're looking for a Stallone movie with those qualities, watch Judge Dredd. It may not be technically sound, but it is much more entertaining than this piece of junk. 

    Also, movie studios that aren't Marvel must stop trying to de-age their stars. 

Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading. 

Bullet Train - Mostly Good Script, Really Bad Direction

 

Playing in Theaters 

    Imagine you walk into a bake shop where they make your favorite cake. It's being made by the same people you know who always make it well; you see the bakers preparing the right ingredients and having all the proper tools to make it delicious. But something is wrong, you're not quite sure what it is, but something is not right with the bakers today, as you witness them suddenly using too much of the wrong ingredients, resulting in a cake that looks like something you would enjoy, but doesn't taste like it. 

    Such is the case for today's subject, Bullet Train. A high-octane action thrill ride with all the proper ingredients, which should make for a fun time at the movies, only to tragically sink like an improperly baked soufflé with too much stuff to elicit proper emotional resonance. The little good stuff the film has is overshadowed by everything it does poorly, and the worst part is that it didn't have to be that way. 

    Based on the book by Kôtarô Isaka, the story follows a freelance errand boy codenamed Ladybug (Brad Pitt). He's tasked with retrieving a briefcase from a Japanese bullet train. Little does he know that, for too many reasons, other people on the train are out to get him and the case. Most are deadly killers who stop at nothing to get what they want. As Ladybug faces one threat after another, he discovers a more excellent mystery at play and seeks to figure it out before he finds himself at the wrong end of a sword.  

    Despite the film having a decent protagonist, witty dialogue, and a creative set-up for an action vehicle, it's all bogged down by too many characters with rushed development and way too much reliance on gory shock value. I don't have a problem with graphic violence in media, provided it is justifiable and in service to the story. And while it makes sense that a bullet train full of lethal assassins and the like would leave a fair amount of bloody messes, they lose their impact when there have already been three blood baths before we even hit the thirty-minute mark. 

    Also, when I say there are too many characters, I mean it introduces new supporting characters seemingly every fifteen minutes, complete with cliff notes versions of their backstories, and then unceremoniously killed off in the proceeding action set piece. It's like they were all cut & pasted into the script using craft scissors and Elmer's glue! 

    What's most frustrating about these issues is that they shouldn't be here! Everything in this movie should work, and yet none of it really does! Director David Leitch (best known for the action masterpiece Hobbs & Shaw) has proven himself capable of handling action and epic storytelling without resorting to unnecessary gratuitousness. Screenwriter Zak Olkewicz, despite only having two previous writing credits to his name, shows a genuine talent for witty dialogue and creative character moments. Brad Pitt continues to amaze us with his unyielding charisma and star presence. Where it all went wrong is as much of a mystery as what kind of drugs were passed around on set. 

    Bullet Train is a disappointing film with so much wasted potential and too much of the same mishandled, over-the-top insanity. Concepts like this require a sense of balance and maturity that everyone on the creative team either doesn't have or checked at the door. If you need an excellent silly action movie to brighten your day, watch Hobbs & Shaw again. It's the same director with better producers and is a much more entertaining thrill ride. 

    Skip this one. 

Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading. 

Rouge Agent - A True Cautionary Tale

 

Streaming on AMC+ 

For rent on Amazon, Apple TV, Google Play, and YouTube 

    Earnest Hemingway once said, "There is no hunting like the hunting of a man, and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter." While this quote was about the effects of war on a person through the lens of an experienced recreational hunter, it is surprisingly relevant (at least in part) to today's subject, Rogue Agent. It may not be about war, but it is about a predator that never grows tired of their actions regardless of how many they have hurt. The kind that we should all be weary of. 

    The story follows Alice Archer (Gemma Arterton), a corporate lawyer in a prestigious law firm. She remains dedicated to her job despite some reservations and frustrations. One day, she meets a handsome and charming car salesman named Robert Freegard (James Norton), and they fall in love. After a bit, Alice notices some strange inconsistencies and little white lies from Robert and eventually confronts him about them. Robert then claims to be an undercover agent for MI5, and he is on a recruiting mission for new potential agents. Despite a fair amount of uncertainty, Alice decides to believe Robert and goes along with the idea of being free of her frustrating life with the hope of a romantic escape. How will Alice handle the ugly truth as things get more serious? 

    This is one of those scary movies in so many tangible ways. It tackles a realistic threat and serves as a reminder that, while most people are generally good, there are always those who take advantage of that good nature. 

    The performances are spot-on all throughout. Gemma Arterton especially carries much of the emotional weight of the story and punctuates some of the best moments in the film, which I will not spoil here. Special mention must also go to James Norton. I can't say much else about his performance without unintentionally spoiling aspects of the film, but I will say that he succeeds in making you feel the right way about him. 

    The cinematography is...questionable. It's not necessarily bad; it's just unusual. Photographed by Larry Smith, best known for Eyes Wide Shut and The Guard, his lighting and framing are still on par with his level of quality. However, the images produced for this movie feel, for want of a better word, unfinished. The film was likely shot on a digital cinema camera, which captures images using a flat picture profile: this is a setting that deliberately desaturates the image as much as possible to allow maximum dynamic range when adding proper color correction in post-production. However, the images presented in this movie (most of them) appear as if they were not properly color-graded enough, if at all. Granted, this could easily have been the fault of the editor or colorist and not the cinematographer, and it could easily be an intentional look for the film, but it didn't seem that way to me. 

    Despite this uncertain image style, Rogue Agent is still a relevant and gripping story that deserves your attention. While I caution some of my readers of a few uncomfortable and "trigger-warning" moments in the film, it is a story that needs to be told. I hope you will check it out. 

Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading. 

Reader Request Month (2022)

 

My beautiful readers,

    It has been kind of slow in the world of movies lately. Even with some of the more exciting outings on our many streaming services, along with a few interesting theatrical releases, not a lot has grabbed my attention. 

    So, I think it's time to return to one of my preferred annual traditions: Reader Request Month. 

    Throughout September, I will take requests for movies and the like to watch and review on my blog. Including one that I've been meaning to get to for some time now (I'm going to finally get around to it, Ian). Please send me your requests however you prefer: a comment on this blog, an email, text message, or Facebook message, however you like.

    I will continue to review new material throughout September, but this will provide me with more fascinating material to check out as we make our way into the fall. 

    Thank you, and I look forward to seeing what you have in store for me. 

Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading. 

The Terminal List - Passed the Three-Episode Test

 

    Streaming on Amazon Prime

    One of my tactics for judging the potential quality of a series is the three-episode test; if I find myself engaged enough to want to know what happens after the third episode, then the show has earned my attention. The one platform where this has proven itself to be the most challenging (often annoyingly so) is Amazon Prime. While I appreciate Amazon for providing a universal platform for all kinds of content from many levels of creators (despite their business practices being less than ideal, to put it mildly), much of their original content hasn't proven worthy of my engagement. Either due to terrible execution of a fascinating idea or getting deprived of a satisfying conclusion in favor of aggressive sequel baiting. 

*cough* The Tomorrow War *cough* Upload *cough* 

    Lately, however, it seems that Amazon has finally found its strength in military-oriented dramas. Finding their footing with the first season of Reacher (a show based on the Jack Reacher mystery book series by Lee Child), they have struck gold yet again with an adaptation of The Terminal List by Jack Carr. A show that not only tells a compelling story but also showcases how far Chris Pratt appears to be stretching himself as an actor. It's delightfully surprising on all fronts, minus the bits of graphic violence here and there (all of which is in service to the story and not just there for the sake of being there). 

    The story follows Navy Seal Commander James Reece (Chris Pratt), who loses most of his squad in an ambush during a covert operation in the middle east. After returning home with the few survivors, things around him become less reliable, including his mental state. His recollection of recent events appears muddled and inconsistent. Not helped by the extra emotional trauma of his friend's recent death, shortly followed by his wife and daughter's murder. Desperate for answers, James goes off the grid in search of why someone would want to kill his comrades and family, making a list with the names of those responsible and marking them off one by one. The only question is how much can we trust James Reece's recollection of events given his troubled and discombobulated state? 

    The show makes the audience question the narrative within the first three episodes, engaging you with the mystery and eager to find the answers. When the truth is revealed (which I will not spoil here), the story evolves into a compelling yarn that questions the line between justice and vengeance. Showcasing how sometimes the two need to co-exist for better or worse. 

    The show doesn't do anything brand new or anything that hasn't been done before in a story like this, but that ultimately doesn't matter. As I have stated, you don't have to be original; you just have to be engaging. Have a story worth telling, an overarching theme worth investing in, with characters we can care about, and the rest will follow. It's not rocket science; it's basic human storytelling. 

    Chris Pratt delivers a surprisingly remarkable performance. While I would not go so far as to proclaim he's reached the echelon of superb actors like Andrew Garfield just yet, he appears to be on his way there. His performance is further enhanced by the superb supporting cast delivering equally surprising performances, including Taylor Kitsch as James's brother. 

    The action is also well-executed with decently staged shoot-outs, visceral hand-to-hand combat, and probably the scariest use of oddly-shaped hatchets I've seen in a series like this. 

    The MVP award goes to Constance Wu for playing an intelligent and capable journalist character in a genre that usually doesn't handle them well. 

    Probably my only nitpick is with the sound design. While it doesn't suffer from the lack of dynamic range between quiet and loud scenes (forcing you to constantly change the volume every ten minutes), it does suffer from another ever-annoying terrible habit: assuming muddled dialogue equals an extra-dramatic presentation. While there are ways to add proper drama to dialogue delivery, if your present technique forces me to activate closed captioning on my TV, it's not working! 

    While the graphic violence may turn off some viewers (understandably so), The Terminal List is a welcome and well-crafted feather in Amazon's hat. Its engaging story and compelling characters make it a must-watch for those with a Prime subscription. Here's hoping they continue to improve their line of original content like this in the future. 

    Amazon, while you are not yet forgiven for the atrocity that was The Tomorrow War, you are well on your way. Keep up the excellent work. 

Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading. 

https://www.normanluce-writer.com