As we leave the wretched and terrible year that was 2020 behind us, let’s take a look back at some of the movies that seemed to foreshadow our lowered expectations and confirm our disappointment in the future of mainstream entertainment.
This is TheNorm’s Worst Movies of 2020.
#5.
The Call of the Wild
The CGI is horribly outdated, Harrison Ford is roped into doing yet another unnecessary voiceover narration, and most of the human characters, especially the villains, are aggressively two-dimensional.
All that aside, there are some positive aspects to this film; despite the CGI not looking all that convincing on the dogs, the landscape shots look remarkably gorgeous. In fact, the cinematography by Janusz Kaminski looks about as beautiful and captivating as you would expect. Harrison Ford still delivers his usual professional level of conviction to his role despite not having a lot to work with.
Were it not for my timing in seeing this film, it might have been ranked much higher on this list. However, at the very least, I can say that the movie tried to be special. It still failed, but it tried.
#4.
Dolittle
This had all the potential to be fun. You have Robert Downey, Jr stepping out of Iron Man’s shadow, a slew of talented actors, and the opportunity to create a clever new take on a classic story. Instead, it mutated into a colossal waste of time.
The jokes are too broad and seem only intended for toddlers. Robert Downey, Jr is trying too hard to emulate Johnny Depp. None of the characters have any kind of texture outside of stereotypical mental and emotional disorders rarely depicted well in Hollywood.
Worst of all, the script is lousy! The writers don’t seem capable of telling a coherent story, let alone have a firm understanding of the proper use of structure. I’m not saying that all writing must conform to a singular specific style or guideline, but some storytelling methods work while others are overused and tripe. The script for Dolittle is chock-full of every element often condemned by serious writers.
Also, it makes the worst use of fart jokes.
#3.
Underwater
There’s not much to say about this train wreck other than it’s essentially Alien, but with no likable characters, no proper first act, and no reason to care about anything happening. Not to mention the monsters are the most generic and least interesting creatures I’ve ever had a difficult time seeing in a horror film. All of which is topped off with a final boss monster that is so obviously trying to ripoff Cthulhu it’s not even funny.
There are plenty of better creature features set underwater that are more entertaining and worthy of your time. There is no reason to even bother with this boring slog.
#2.
Ghosts of War
I cannot remember the last time I was so annoyed and disappointed in a movie that had such a fantastic idea. This film has all of the right pieces to be a decent ghost story with the real-world horror of WW2 reinforcing the themes of true terror and the concept of haunting. Instead, we got yet another teenaged oriented scream fest that’s in too much of a rush to show off how clever it thinks it is.
Instead of a slow burn with a creepy atmosphere and a compelling mystery, we get a haunted house roller coaster ride with twists and turns that seem clever at the moment but are completely forgettable five minutes later. Instead of clever ghost designs, we get generic monster-looking people with yellow eyes, grey skin, and red mouths screaming directly into the camera. Instead of a proper build-up to a compelling twist, we get a double twist that feels like something a teenager who watched The Matrix one too many times might think was clever.
I am aware that I have said this many times before, but it bears repeating. Mike Flanagan is the only person working in Hollywood today who knows how to tell a proper ghost story. Any ghost movie that does not have his name attached to it is not worth your time. Unless more people take notes from his work, there is no bright future for modern horror cinema.
#1.
Money Plane
This is, hands down, the most insulting, ammeter, lazy, so-bad-it’s-not-funny, lame excuse of a movie I have ever forced myself to sit through. There is not a single thing this movie does well or with competence. Everything (and I do mean everything) is executed with the least amount of effort in every possible category.
The writing is juvenile, the cinematography is bland, the direction is stagnant, the set design is poor, the acting is non-existent (save for Kelsey Grammer), and it makes no use out of its otherwise clever premise.
Let this movie serve as the mascot for 2020. A symbol of utter uselessness as it sits in the bargain bin at your local Best Buy, demanding undeserved attention as it fades away into obscurity. Not unlike a certain incompetent leader who will be kicked out of power very soon.
Well, I’m glad we got that ugly part done. Stay tuned for the best movies of 2020. I assure you, there were a few gems, even in these uncertain times.
Ladies & gentlemen, I am TheNorm; thank you all for reading.
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